Who We Want To Be

Sometimes I don't like who I am.  Sometimes I look at myself as a Christian and think, "I can be better."  In times like this, I am tempted to pick out a man who I consider to be a "good Christian" and aspire to become like him, to live and act and behave and love and talk like him.  I will look at guys like Matt Chandler or John Piper or a former college instructor and say, "That's who I want to be.  I want to be mini-Dr. Moody."  This type of aspiration isn't really a bad thing.  It's good to have people to look up to and whose example you can follow.  But should this be my goal?  Should this be what I chase for the rest of my life?  To become a better man, a better Christian?  I think not.

In my mind, when I feel inadequate as a Christian, or when I absolutely hate the way I act or when I am disappointed with my failures, I form this image in my mind of who I want to one day be.  In my head I can see a new and improved me, a man who doesn't mess up so much, who loves his wife more, who preaches better.  I hold this image out in front of me and every time I fail I feel like I take ten steps backwards, like I will never reach my goal.  And this keeps me feeling pretty hopeless.

But God doesn't want me to feel hopeless. He knows that as long as I keep chasing this image of who I want to be, I will always fall short, I will always let myself down.  God doesn't want me to make my own standards, or spend my life trying to become a better man, or waste my time trying to be like John Piper.  God wants me to be more like Jesus.

Romans 8:29 tells us that God predestined us "to become conformed to the image of His son."  What that tells me is that God's goal is to make me more like Christ.  It's not His goal for me to figure out how to be a better person, but for me to figure out how to let go of my own aspirations and let Him change me, conform me, mold me. When I do that, He does the work.  He makes the changes.  He cleans me up.  He makes me stronger and more faithful and more holy.  Not me.  My own efforts will never achieve those things.

Maybe you are like me.  Maybe you don't like who you are as a Christian sometimes and wish you could be better.  Maybe you have your mind set on becoming like someone else, someone you think is stronger and better and more godly.  My advice to you is this: let it go.  Stop chasing that goal.  You won't get there.  Ever.  Let God mold you and transform you.  Let your goal be to become more like Jesus, not more like John Piper or your pastor or your dad. 

Let the image in your mind, the picture of the man or woman you want to be, let it be the image of Jesus.  And remember, we will fail.  We will fall short, sometimes daily.  But God will not give up on us.  Every day, He is actively working in us to make us more like His son.  Philippians 2:13 says, "It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."  Stop comparing yourself to other, stronger, more mature Christians.  Compare yourself to Christ, and let Him change who you are and make you who He wants you to be.