Typically she will begin talking about something important and somewhat relevant, but then, after a few minutes, will drift to one subject after another, each one related in some way. Today, she began by telling me about how she had to chase some owls this morning because they were trying to attack her chickens. From there she wandered to memories of a rooster chasing my wife as a child and then Thanksgiving ham and fruit salad. Somehow she found herself reflecting on how she had raised her children and how she didn't baby them, but instead let them fend for themselves. I think she shared with me a brief moment of regret for the possible lack of love, but in the middle of her comments, as she spoke of the difference between raising girls and raising boys, she said this:
"Boys should be able to take care of themselves. When they grow up they need to be strong. Behind every woman there should be a strong man. If the man isn't strong, there's gonna be problems."
As she spoke these incredibly wise words my mind froze. I don't remember anything she said after that because my heart was intently focused on the truth she had just imparted.
My wife's grandmother is from a day and age when boys were tough, when young men were daring, when grown men had responsibilities and were strong for their families, for themselves. Today, a different picture has been painted. Today, I look around and see weak men, men who neglect their duties, men who flee from maturity. I see young men, adolescents who don't know how to earn money, who rely on mom and dad for every meal, for gas money, for date money. I see boys who are afraid to get hurt or dirty and who would rather play video games and watch TV than ride a bike down a hill or play football in the street. And as I look around at the pitiful scene before me, I can't help but look also in the mirror and wonder something about myself.
Am I much of a man?
Am I strong enough?
Am I weak?
Introspection reveals my deficiencies. I am not as strong as I need to be, as I could be, as I should be. I am weak in so many areas. I look at my wife and I wonder, is there a strong man behind that woman? Sadly, I think not.
What does the Bible say about this matter? Does God care about the weakness of the men He has created? Let's take a look at one verse that will shed some light on the question. I Corinthians 16:13 says this:
"Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong."
I would say, from reading that, that God does care about the present condition of men. He has a few words to say about how a man should live in this world. To all men, creatures of our God, the Maker commands us to act like men, to be strong. But is that the description of myself? Is that the description of men all across the planet these days?
I want to be a strong man. I want to support my wife and take care of business and protect my home. I want to be the man that God intended me to be. I want to honor my Maker by acting like the man He created me to be, by standing firm in my faith, by being on the alert, by living in such a way that He is glorified and my flesh is denied. That is what I want to be. A man. A real man.
Like Nini said, "if the man isn't strong, there's gonna be problems." When I am not strong, there are issues, some of them seemingly insurmountable. Emotional problems. Relational problems. Physical problems. Spiritual problems. I don't want the problems to be a result of my own deficiency anymore. So, today I pray that God would take me and make me a man. That He would fulfill I Corinthians 16:13 in me, and that from now until the day I take my last breath, I would grow and mature and develop as He wants me to. So that one day, at my funeral, it will be said of me:
He was a man. A true man of God.
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