Satisfied?

I have started a new habit in my Bible reading.  Lately, I have been asking God what He wants me to read in His Word.  I tend to believe that God wants to say specific things to me sometimes and I know that He does that through His Word, His final revelation.  So, when it is time to grab my Bible and read before I start my day, I ask God to speak to me, clearly.  And He does.  This morning He did it again.

As I opened up my NASB I said, "OK God what do you want to say to me this morning?  I need to hear from you today."  And out of nowhere, in the back of my mind, I heard "Genesis 25."  So to Genesis I went. In Chapter 25 you find some words about the end of Abraham's life - he took another wife, had some more kids, grew old, spoiled his son Isaac, gave gifts to the other kids and then sent them away.  Pretty basic, historical stuff, right?  But then verse 8 comes like a stealth bomber, quiet and sneaky, but packing a powerful punch.  Here is what it says:

"Abraham breathed his last and died in a ripe old age, an old man and satisfied with life; and he was gathered to his people."

As I read that verse I had one of those "huh" moments. Something immediately registered in my heart and in my mind.  In that verse I recognized a longing that I have had for quite a while but that I have also allowed to be unmet, hindered by my own emotions and issues.

The desire to be satisfied with life. 

Abraham lived to be 175 years old. Before he took his last breath he undoubtedly looked back over his life and smiled, knowing that it had been everything he could have wished for.  But before we start the argument that his life must have been perfect, without a care in the world, we have to remember some of his past predicaments. 

I just taught my church kids last night about a certain situation that Abraham and his wife found themselves in. Abraham and his wife told a lie in order to protect themselves.  They sinned and faced the consequences of that sin, while they were trying to make a life in Egypt.  It is a story replete with famine, plagues, and exile, pain, suffering, and shame.  Abraham's life was not peachy.  It was a life full of mistakes, failures, and sorrow.  But at the end of his road, as he lay dying, he was satisfied, full, content.  Why?

I think it's because of God. And grace.

Abraham allowed God to mold him, to shape him into the man that God wanted him to be.  Abraham made mistakes.  He sinned at times and surely felt that he had let God down.  But in the end, he knew that God had changed him, had been working on him.  He knew that God's grace covered all of his failures, and that now, at the end of his life,  all of those past regrets didn't matter anymore.  I believe that Abraham was satisfied, not because of his quality of life, or length of his life, or the things that he had, but because of the grace that made him who he was. 

Can I be satisfied in that?  Can you?  I think too many times we believe satisfaction will come when we get that job, or that car, or that house, or fulfill that dream.  We pour all of our efforts and energy into creating that life that we can be satisfied with, only to realize after we achieve it that it isn't as great as we always thought it would be.  Then we set our sights on new dreams, new ambitions, a newer car, a bigger house, and we vainly chase the wind, ignoring the fact that satisfaction with "stuff" is fleeting.  How sad.

I think to be truly satisfied with our lives, to get to the end of our road and to be fully content, is to realize that grace is shaping us, that God loves us, that our past mistakes don't define us.  When we let God work in our lives, no matter the circumstances or trials or issues we face, we can be truly satisfied.  

To be honest with you, I began this post with the intention of writing about how I need to learn to be satisfied with the things I have, to be content with what God has given me.  That much is true.  The Bible says that "godliness with contentment is great gain."  But I think the satisfaction that God wants us to have with our lives is much deeper than simply being happy with the things you own, or the people you are with, or the job you have.  I think that God wants us to be satisfied with Him.  When that happens, and we are aware of the fact that His grace is changing us, that His love covers our past, then we can one day die, in a ripe old age, satisfied with life.