A Dream and a New Desire.

One night, years ago, in the days when I was struggling to flee from my old way of life and come back to my relationship with Christ, I had a dream.  This dream, I believe, was a wake-up call from the Holy Spirit, something that was intended to get my attention and bring me back to God.

As I was sleeping, trying to get some rest before another long day at school, I thought I heard my parents (or so I thought) come into my room to wake me up.  I saw two figures standing in my door way, staring at me, watching me.  Then in a second they were leaning over me.  I heard voices.  One said, "Wake up John, it's time to get up."  When didn't respond, the prodding continued.  I felt like I was trying desperately to open my eyes, to see what was going on, who was talking to me, but I couldn't.  My eyes were frozen shut.  I couldn't open them, and I couldn't speak.  I then heard another voice, one that I thought was my mother, say, "He thinks he is awake but he is still sleeping." After a few more seconds, I drifted back to sleep and the voices and figures disappeared.

When I awoke in the morning, after I had my breakfast and had gotten ready for school, I asked my mom if she or dad had tried to wake me up in the middle of the night.  She said no, neither of them had come into my room.  You may think I'm crazy, but I am convinced that the dream I had that night was more than a simple dream - I believe it was a wake-up call.

As the days went by I progressively drifted away from my old identity.  My desires changed.  My interests changed.  My ambitions changed.  I would sit in my living room every morning before school and read the Bible. It was all so brand new to me, like I was reading it for the first time.  I would take notes on the different passages, trying to learn more about God's Word. Every night when I would come home from work at 11 p.m. I would sit and read my Bible before bed.  I couldn't get enough of it.

And I was growing more comfortable in church.  In the youth group I had made some new friends and had become increasingly interested in the youth group.  One day, I did something that would define the direction of my life from there on out.

I asked my youth pastor if I could teach one night.  And he said yes.  Over the next few weeks I studied the Bible carefully.  I prayed about what I should preach on.  I went to my youth pastor for help. I asked a friend at school, a strong Christian who I knew loved God, for help with my message.  She took my notes home one day and came back the next day with some notes of her own to help me out.  Slowly I put together a lesson based on I Timothy 4:12.  And one Wednesday night, during our youth group meeting, I preached about being an example in every area of life, acting like a Christian because that is what God expects from us.

From that day on, things were different for me.  No longer was I the shy, insecure kid desperately trying to fit in and be noticed.  Gone were the foul language, the hatred and depression, and the desire to be "cool."  Instead, God had shaped me and molded me and had brought me home to Him.  After three years of running away, I was back home.  I had Jesus again.

On a Sunday night during my last year of high school, after a missionary had just preached to our church, I walked down the aisle during the invitation and I prayed about something very big.  I asked God to use me in the ministry, to preach and to teach, and to serve the church.  I got up and told my pastor that I had felt that God was calling me to devote the rest of my life to the ministry.  He proudly announced it to the church and they all excitedly came up front to congratulate me and encourage me. 

I remember so much about that night.  I remember how I felt, knowing that I had finally realized my significance.  I remember what I was thinking - that I had come such a long way and that God was undoubtedly working in me.  I even remember what I was wearing.  It was a great time for me. A time that marked a total transformation in my life.  A night that revealed so visibly the power of a gracious and loving God who doesn't give up on His children even when His children give up on Him.

Later, after I graduated from high school, I enrolled in Bible College where I trained to become a pastor.  I began a new journey in life, one that was grounded in my faith in Christ and a desire to serve Him.

There are so many lessons to be learned from this story.  It is a story of redemption.  A story of healing.  And a story about the patience of God. Throughout those first few years in high school, when I had all but turned my back on God, when I had distanced myself from the faith that I once knew, when I was so engrossed with sin and worldly pleasures, God did not give up on me.  He relentlessly pursued me.  He was there through it all.  And one day He intervened and began the process of bringing me back home, redeeming me again to Himself and renewing my dying faith.

I wish I could say that after I was brought back home, after I started Bible college and studied to be in the ministry, that my life in Christ was always strong and exactly what it needed to be.  To tell you that I never left again, that I never again strayed from Christ to pursue worldly pleasures, would be a lie.  Even in Bible college I found myself drifting from my first love and turning to sin. 

One day I will share that story with you too.  But for now, know this: the Christian life is a journey.  God has called us to pursue Him.  Sadly, sometimes we will be inclined to refuse that pursuit, but in the end God always restores us to that "sacred voyage."

What about you?  Have you ever drifted from your faith in Christ?  Did God do something to bring you back?