"Why do I even bother with this?"
"Can I quit?"
"This is not what I'm supposed to be doing!"
"I can't stand this anymore!"
These are the words that filled my weary and frustrated mind as I stood unsuccessfully trying to get the attention of over 50 children during our kid's ministry Christmas party a few nights ago. It was insane. Chaotic. Loud. I blew my wistle. I shouted. I raised my hand in the air. And I stared hopelessly as they continued with their horseplay and more than necessary exuberance.
As I stood there, ready to give up; ready to sneak out the back door and run home and never return; ready to let someone else try to wrangle those monsters, I wondered why I find myself in this position.
Don't get me wrong here. I love ministry. I went to Bible college because I have devoted my life to ministry. And I mostly enjoy the children's ministry. It is an honor to have the opportunity to teach kids who wouldn't receive biblical truth anywhere else, who are likely to end up seeing me at my day job - as a juvenile probation officer. I am grateful that I get to work with them, I really am. But I'm just not good at it.
It takes a certain kind of personality to be a children's minister. One that I don't have. I tend to be mostly serious, frequently pensive, and I love silence and solitude. I guess I would have made a good monk, if I hadn't messed that up by getting married (just kidding, Erin). My personality is better suited for other things, like preaching at the nursing home, or speaking at funerals maybe, or even teaching in "big church." My personality is not well suited for children's ministry and it shows every Wednesday night when I try so desperately to teach or do an activity, or even speak three words to those kids. Working with kids requires a person who is fun and outgoing and creative and...everything that isn't me. The ability to work well with kids is a gift, and I definitely do not possess it.
So when I consider these facts and then I look at my present situation, I wonder, "Why do we sometimes get stuck doing ministries that we aren't gifted for?" And in response to my own musing, I have come up with three reasons why this is so true for myself and undoubtedly for countless people in churches all over the place.
1. Other people don't know their spiritual gifts.
A few months ago I taught a series one Sunday for the adult class on spiritual gifts. I gave the background info, offered some examples, and even shared some funny stories. But as I wrapped up the talk I realized that nobody who had heard me speak about the issue was going to do anything about it. They heard me. They listened and nodded their heads. But most of those people, I knew, were not going to try to figure out what their gifts were and how they could use them. That's the problem in so many churches these days. Regular, every day Christians, who were given certain spiritual gifts and commanded by God to use them to build up the church, don't know what their gifts are and therefore don't do ministry. I guarantee you there are people in my church who probably have certain gifts that may be beneficial to the children's ministry, who might be able to help out in some way, but who won't ever know and so won't ever do anything about it.
2. Other people are lazy
In Bible college one of my professors once gave us this statistic: in a typical church today, 20% of the members do 80% of the work. Now that is astonishing. Out of 100 members, 20 of them are carrying the majority of the workload, while the other 80 people sit idly and watch. While it is quite astonishing, it is also quite true. I have seen it over and over again in the churches where I have served or worshipped. The same may be true for your church. And I believe the cause for such a tragic statistic is laziness. Christians today are lazy. They leave ministry to the professionals while they sit in their comfortable seats and sing their favorite songs and listen to a thirty minute sermon and then go home unchanged and uninspired. This may seem like a harsh accusation and it may come across as presumptuous but it is the truth. Where there are lazy Christians and lazy church members, there are others who are working extra hard to get the work done for everyone.
3. We fail to disciple and train others for ministry like we should.
Part of the Great Commission is to "make disciples." When I was growing up in church I was always told that Jesus' last instructions to the apostles were to go out and spread the gospel. This sounded great to me. I could do that easily. I envisioned Billy Graham type crusades where you preach a short message and thousands get saved. I had a preach-and-run approach. But Jesus had something else in mind, something that requires a little more effort and a lot more time - discipleship. Christians are commanded to not only preach the gospel and lead people to salvation, but also to train them and teach them after they come to Christ. This is discipleship. And this is what we fail to do most of the time, myself included. If we were discipling every new believer, teaching them the doctrines of God and encouraging them to assume their commanded roles as "ambassadors" and "ministers of reconciliation," there wouldn't be such a shortage of people serving in the ministries of the church. Ministers wouldn't just be trained professionals who went to seminary. Every Christian would be a minister, just as God would have it.
Because of these three things and their realistic existence in my own life and ministry, I find myself continuing to try to mold my personality into that of a truly gifted Children's minister. I will keep working with these kids. I will keep trying to teach them. But I will also keep praying that the Christians around me will learn their spiritual gifts, stop being lazy, and do what God has commanded them to do as well. And maybe one day I'll make it to "big church" and let someone else take over - someone better suited.
What are your spiritual gifts? Have you discipled anyone? Do you do ministry?
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